A MiddleEarth Vacation
by Meltintalle333
Summary: Middle-Earth characters decide to take a vacation to....Earth?
1. Alas! we need a vacation

Sam stood there, tears streaming down his face, as he watched Frodo sailing away into the distance, until he was completely out of sight. Then everything went black. The credits rolled across the screen, and everyone in the audience stood up slowly, stretching, and made their way out of the movie theatre.   
Back in Middle Earth, Sam, still sniffling, wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Pippin! You can stop chopping up the onion now!" he shouted.   
"Awwww. What's the matter? Poor widdle Sammy wammy misses his Mr. Frodo?" Pippin teased, jumping back.   
"PIPPIN!" Sam shouted, lunging at the hobbit that stood a few feet away, still slicing up an onion right in front of Sam's face. Pippin jumped out of the way just in time and Sam stumbled, landing with his face on the ground. He shoved himself up, spitting dirt out of his mouth, and facing Pippin and Merry, who were doubled over with laughter.   
Frodo came walking over at that point, saying, "Come on you two, Sam had to cry. It was part of the story, after all, and you know how picky those Tolkienites can be about the films."  
  
"Yes, I suppose you're right. We're sorry, Sam. Hey, Pip, let's go remind Legolas of all the fan mail he's going to be wading through after everyone sees this movie."  
  
Great idea, Merry! Poor soul, I don't think he's even finished with the Two Towers letters. All those fan stalking him...it makes me shudder just thinking about it. OH LEGOLASSSSSSSS!" The two hobbits went running off to look for their favorite elf.   
"Well done, Mr Frodo," Sam exclaimed. "It has been quite a bother, really, but now we're finished at last!"  
  
"Yes. And I'm glad you're with me, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things." The hobbits chuckled and went off to see if Gandalf couldn't fix them some food.   
They found Gandalf talking with Aragorn, Elrond, Galadriel and Celeborn. When they got closer, Gandalf saw them and said, "Well done, well done. Hopefully after answering all the fan mail that I expect will be arriving any moment now, we can finally get some peace and quiet around here."   
"That would be a nice change," said Aragorn, "but alas! I fear I will be just as busy, now that I'm king and all." He sighed. "I think I need a vacation," he muttered.   
Gandalf started stroking his beard, and the five others stood there, staring at him and waiting for him to speak. Finally, after what seemed an hour or so, but was actually only five minutes, Gandalf said, "Hmmm. A vacation does sound like a wondrous idea. But the question is: where would we go?" The group stood there, pondering Gandalf's question. Every so often, one of them would answer with ideas of places in Middle Earth, such as "Rivendell!" or "Mirkwood!", but none of them were suitable enough for everyone. After awhile, Merry and Pippin came strutting up, with Legolas grimly dragging himself behind them with a rather depressed look on is face. "What's going on here?" Merry questioned, looking seriously hurt that nobody had included him in the conversation. "We were just discussing where we could go on vacation, but nothing seems to be working for everyone. At least one of us has been to every place that we think of!" answered Sam. "Why that's an easy one!" exclaimed Pippin, looking at the group like they were all stupid for not thinking of it. "Well, then, what's your idea?" Sam said, peeved. "Oh, come on. You battled orcs, survived Gollum, destroyed the Ring of Power, and you honestly can't think of any place for vacationing? And you call yourself a Fellowship. Honestly what is this Middle Earth com-" "PIPPIN!" all seven of them (Merry and Legolas had joined the group as well) shouted at once. "Alright, alright. Sheesh. Treebeard would be appalled at your hastiness!" At this point, most of the others looked like they were ready to strangle Pip, so he quickly blurted out, "Ok! Ok! I was thinking, well, since people on Earth have gotten a look at our life and our world that, well, it would only be fair if we visited them!" "A vacation to Earth...hmmm...actually, that is not such a bad idea!" exclaimed Gandalf. "Really?" Pippin asked, surprised. "Of course!" After a look from Gandalf, all of the others muttered words of agreement. Gandalf himself was feeling bad about all those times that he called Pippin a fool of a Took, and was also quite surprised by this actually good idea that Pippin had thought of. It was nighttime, and everyone was in their rooms, packing their bags. Well, everyone except for Gollum, Sauron, the Nazgûl, and a few others. They were all worried but excited about the upcoming adventure. The next morning, everyone was gathered outside. Gandalf, with an unworried and surprisingly happy look on his face, explained the process once more to everyone who all shouted, "We know, we know!" "Alright, just making sure you all understand." Gandalf had gotten permission (nobody knew who he would have to get permission from, but none of them wanted to ask) to use his magic to transport all of them to Earth. Standing there, huddled together, waiting, were Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Rose, Elanor, Boromir, Faramir, Éowyn, Theoden, Éomer, Aragorn, Arwen, Elrond, Elrohir, Elladan, Gimli, Legolas, Treebeard, Denethor, Galadriel, Celeborn, Bilbo, Gollum, Sauron, Saruman, Shelob, Wromtongue, the Nazgûl, Glorfindel, the orc, the uruk-hai, Radagast, Isildur, Haldir, the Mouth of Sauron, Quickbeam and some other Ents, Tharunduil, and some others, and of course, Gandalf. There was a sudden flash, and then nothing. "Well, that's that," said Fatty Bolger, who had, once again, decided not to join on the venture. 


	2. When fan girls attack

Everyone collapsed into a heap with a *BANG*. "I think I broke something," complained Merry.  
  
Everyone groaned. "Why do we always have to quote scenes from the movie?" Aragorn muttered. "Where are we, anyways?"  
  
"We have just passed into the land of Los Angeles." Came Gandalf's response.  
  
Looking around, Sam said, "Well...it's, um, certainly different from Middle Earth"  
  
They all stood up and stared in disbelief. Cars roared past at high speeds and trash was strewn across the sidewalks and streets. And everywhere, everywhere there were people walking, talking, running, eating. It certainly was different from Middle-Earth.  
  
"What now?" asked Gimli, who was trying to conceal his axe. Weapons like that were not a good item to be wielding in a place like this.  
  
"Well I suppose now we should find shelter, and then perhaps some food," answered Gandalf, who seemed to know the answer to everything. Well, he was, after all, a Maia. The Middle-Earth members went trudging down the street with nervous, excited, and curious looks on the faces of all. They had barely walked a block when a shrill, high-pitched scream echoed throughout the streets. "LEGOLASSSSSSSSSSS!" screamed about a million fan girls, who all tackled the poor Elf, struggling to get at him.  
  
Gimli pulled out his hidden axe and ran to help his friend in need. "EVERYBODY STAND BACK! I HAVE AN AXE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!" he shouted. The fan girls paid no heed to the Dwarf, and kept wrestling each other for a better position in the ever-growing pile.  
  
Gandalf went to stand in front of the never-ending line of girls and women running to join the others. Pulling himself up to a great height, he bellowed, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" The members of the Fellowship had a pained look on their faces, and some of them said things like, "Not again!" and, "we must be cursed to repeat these lines forever!", for indeed, Gandalf had used a line from the movie. But the fan girls stopped and backed away, keeping watchful eyes on the wizard. All of the girls in the pile quickly rose up and dashed off. Then someone spotted Aragorn. As the girls tried to bring him down, Frodo couldn't help thinking that it was going to be a long night.  
  
Merry and Pippin were jumping on their soft hotel beds. Sam was inspecting the garden, and Frodo was sitting in his room, stroking the Ring. Yes, the Ring had not been destroyed, nor had Gollum, Sauron, the Witch King or anybody died. Actually, Sauron should still have the Ring, but Frodo was reluctant to give it back, and most figured it was for the better.  
On the balcony to their room (the group had taken up a whole floor of the spacious hotel), stood Aragorn and Arwen, attempting to see the stars, but, because of all the light, they weren't successful. The last anyone saw Faramir and Eowyn, they had said something about testing out the hotel bed, if you get my drift. Gimli, of course, was scouting the area for any caves, but the closest he found to a cave was the subway. Legolas decided to stay inside after the horrid experience with all those girls. Sauron had immediately blown up some walls so that there was enough space for his orcs. He was now busy making plans for conquering Los Angeles.  
  
"Merry, I'm hungry!" Pippin whined.  
  
Merry whacked Pippin with a pillow and giggling, said, "You're always hungry, Pip. But I am hungry as well. Let's go find Gandalf and see what his plans are for getting some food." The two hobbits dashed off to the main room (another room that Sauron had so kindly made larger) in search of the wizard. 


End file.
